Do You Have Destination Addiction?
Just keep your eye on the prize!
What are your goals for this year? How about — I want to lose 10 pounds by Christmas? I need to sell 20 houses this year. Or, I have to make $100,000 this year. Our lists of goals and destinations are endless.. We are a goal fixated society, and how could we not be? That is what our culture is all about — reaching the destination and winning the prize.
This is what we believe will make us feel important and successful – worthy and good enough.
We get it from many religions as well – obey all the rules and you’ll get your reward in the after-life. It’s ok to suffer here because you have heaven to look forward to.
I remember the first time I heard the phrase, “create heaven on earth in the here and now.” What a concept, but isn’t that blasphemy?” I thought at the time.
Have you ever thought about how long the joy and satisfaction of reaching a goal or winning lasts?
I’m serious – think about it. Does it last minutes? Hours? Maybe a day or two? Not very long. It’s that instant rush that says “I made it,” and you feel the thrill. Then it’s over, and your destination addiction starts wondering, “now what?”
We have been so programmed to focus on the future, we don’t even realize we are not being totally present.
After watching a powerful movie a few nights ago, I saw this obsession with destination addiction more clearly than ever before. In fact I ended up watching the movie twice. As committed as I am to living in the present moment, it became obvious as I watched it that my unconscious programming to reach a destination still inhibits my being in love and accepting this present moment for what it is. I’ll be more satisfied when…my $4.5 listing sells…my books are top sellers…I’m leading workshops… I got very honest with myself after I watched the movie a 2nd time, and discovered a fairly long and disconcerting list.
The movie is Peaceful Warrior, based on the book “Way of the Peaceful Warrior” by Dan Millman. It happens to be showing currently on Amazon Prime and is also available at Redbox. If you haven’t seen it – I encourage you to, and if you have seen it, watch it again with new eyes.
Let’s take a few minutes here to focus on the journey to the destination.
The Journey is your Life.
Where are you when it is happening? When you are focused on your desired destination, you are not really in your life – you’re somewhere else. But the journey is the rich part. This is your life happening. The journey is where you find happiness. This is the only place where you can experience living in joy.
When you are focused on the destination you are really saying, “I’ll be happy if… I’ll be happy after… I’m going to be happy when…” Your whole life becomes about your future. You’re living in the not now. You believe in now, just not this now. You’re waiting for a better now. This adds up to something being missing in your life – what’s missing is you.
Bottom line — when you are not in this now, you are not in your life.
So, here’s my take-away. My desire is to live a rich, juicy life, and that can only happen if I choose over and over again each moment to be fully alive in this present moment, and to love and find satisfaction in the journey no matter what ups and downs it is presenting to me.
How about joining me?
This movie was powerful! I will join you and continue to learn to be in the “now” ~ happy with everything as it currently is and knowing that we can all focus on appreciation instead of attachment. Great blog Mardi Kirkland
Staying present is the only way to truly experience the joy of living. Another great blog!